how i lost interest in writing my own journal, 7may'04
7 May' 04: This has been the weirdest week ever. I went out with a girl that I like, got beat up by her friend, and came back feeling guilty of crime. How cruel women are!!! Now I walk around with a brown bag over my head with slits cut out for my eyes and nose - this is the life of a fugitive criminal.
29sept'05: have you met a girl that you knew for a few minutes and thought you want to meet her again, want to know her? That is not a feeling I get very often; infact no one has made me feel that since then.
29sept'05: She never came back or said hello. I knew that night itself that it was over, I also knew that the best way for me to get over the affair rapidly was to talk to her. But as sour as the affair had turned out I new she wil not talk to me again and so I will suffer for a long time. Well she came back only to raise my lost hopes and she said she will stay in touch. When I got back four months later, she was there, some where there. Did I have hopes, I probably harboured some, but realistically I was hoping only to be a friend. but I wasnt given that opportunity to heal either. it took till december before the healing took affect. To the point that the real healing could happen only after she acknowledged me. In March, I just had to say hello to her, I did. I did not expect a response, but she did. She emailed twice and I must have mailed her atlest six times on various trivialities that are of no consequence. But her response to my emails then healed me. I was liberated.
Born again, I do not mind meeting her again (would like to), but have absolutely no urge, none like I had in March. I doubt ever again.
fear, of being forgotten,
of not being known
or remembered
of being lost
with no friends to remember you
Once you get over your fears,
you are king.
HRH
29sept'05: have you met a girl that you knew for a few minutes and thought you want to meet her again, want to know her? That is not a feeling I get very often; infact no one has made me feel that since then.
29sept'05: She never came back or said hello. I knew that night itself that it was over, I also knew that the best way for me to get over the affair rapidly was to talk to her. But as sour as the affair had turned out I new she wil not talk to me again and so I will suffer for a long time. Well she came back only to raise my lost hopes and she said she will stay in touch. When I got back four months later, she was there, some where there. Did I have hopes, I probably harboured some, but realistically I was hoping only to be a friend. but I wasnt given that opportunity to heal either. it took till december before the healing took affect. To the point that the real healing could happen only after she acknowledged me. In March, I just had to say hello to her, I did. I did not expect a response, but she did. She emailed twice and I must have mailed her atlest six times on various trivialities that are of no consequence. But her response to my emails then healed me. I was liberated.
Born again, I do not mind meeting her again (would like to), but have absolutely no urge, none like I had in March. I doubt ever again.
fear, of being forgotten,
of not being known
or remembered
of being lost
with no friends to remember you
Once you get over your fears,
you are king.
HRH
posted by ceirius at
10:23 PM
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