Friday, August 25, 2006

Craig Ferguson interview

In a recent issue of Men's Health magazine was an interview with Craig Ferguson. You know him from the Drew Carey Show and the Late Late Show on CBS. Adn reading that interview I realized something that I fortunately have been able to realize sooner than later. Craig lost his father recently and he dedicated a show on CBS to eulogize his father. But what was most poignant was his statement that it is when your father passes away that you realize you had better know how to carve the turkey and say Grace at Thanks Giving, for now you are the head of the family. I wondered on this and it struck me that it is this bond across generations and the shouldering of responsibilities that makes us nurture and preserve our cultures and traditions. Tradition and the cultures therefrom are our ultimate refuges in life and when our parents and grand parents are no more to guide us, that is when we realize that we have become the protectors of our cultures.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

a minor clarification

In serveral of my entries I may have alluded to a woman. The clarification I am making is that I am not merely not hooked on this woman since it has been a while since we interacted but I am done with her. However, she materialized a concept that I had developed for a while and am forced to suspend ... The idea really developed during my childhood when we travelled across the sub-continent by train. At stops in unheard of places I always had the urge to know more about the place. Well may be some of those urges were developed later. By the time I was 16 I was traversing the sub-continent alone, but still not fulfilling that one desire - to get off the bus or train and walk the rest with no plan or map. Many years later I was on that beach reading a book that only strengthened my desire, it had now evolved to riding a motorbike across the sub-continent. Today responsibilities have overtaken me a bit. But the explorations are happening. But the woman that I started talking about was the first and only woman so far that I felt fascinated by to take with me and show and share these explorations. When I think of exploring these days I wish I could take a partner but she has been the only candidate so far and thus finds place in several of my letters.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

le confort des étrangers

it is an interesting idea. isn't that what our parents advised us when we were young, "don't talk to strangers". yet sometimes it is strangers that give us great warmth. But the title of the letter was based on two different themes. the first, a movie i watched last night 'The Comfort of Strangers'. one of those classics that has a very high grade cinematography and plot, and leaves you asking what? why? how? the second, that i was in the company of a stranger; a stanger that i know for a short while. I won't spoil the movie for you now, but while i recapitulated the sequence of events in the plot I wondered how it is that we progress in relationships. total strangers are what we usually start out as with only a single or very few common links - shared problems, shared interests, common activities, among others. Yet there have been times when i have had the most swell times with absolute strangers, people that i met only once and perhaps never again. and then there are those other strangers who eventually become best friends or even life-mates, but only, only after atleast one of the players lets down their guard and as long as the other does not take advantage of the weakness. the question really is what is the relelvance of this? The key words are annonymity and mutual respect. Both of these characters are desiriable in strangers that makes them some times more desirable than closer associates. I think we need a healthy dose of both strangers and close associates.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Broken hearts, and the three week jinx

Oh dear, dear little Wien wein. That is what I called her. I doubt I have told you my story of Wien wein, yet another girl that broke my heart. The only difference from the women in my life prior to and post her is that I had my longest relationship with her. She found me out and adopted me when I was alone on that beach. She slept with me and worked with me and ate with me. Who could have asked for a better companion. She liked books too. She once even saved me while I slept.

In retrospect I have always desired a woman more if she found me out. It may be that only a fraction of the women I seek out are my type. But then I have had a jinx. In the last decade I have always met a desirable woman during a window of three weeks, usually just preceding continental and temporal separation. This was the first time the three weeks did not apply.

She was young and pretty with beautiful hair. I had seen her about but never paid her any attention. She had her brother as companion. They were both very young. But as soon as he was old enough he was drafted. We lived in a small camp on the beach, on the south side where it was uninhabited. Shortly after I arrived one of the other sides of the island was invaded. In smaller populations you can imagine the demographic affect of an invasion.

She was now left alone in the camp with only me and very few others, all males. This was the time I really noticed her, alone and nowhere else to go she would wail outside my hut. I offered her food and company and she slept in the warmth and security of my arms. She followed me everywhere that even casual passers by and even the visitng Admirals of the naval fleets made note of this bond.

I used to work mostly under the cover of darkness on the sands where thunderous waves pounded. It was the time of the northeast monsoons when the winds blow southwest over Myanmar and over vast ocean before reaching us with moisture laden heavy clouds. So heavy that by the time they reached us they were spilling themselves and drenching everything in their path. It only made the surf pound harder. The huts of thatch heaved under the extra weight and the mud floors oozed out water when little pressure was applied. Clothes and other fabric that were wet never dried, and those that were dry were dank from the humidity. Anything that was left without washing and in prolonged disuse grew fungus, including our toes.

I would tuck her in my sleeping bag making sure she was dry, warm and not hungry. Once I was away working through the storms, I heard her calling out, getting drenched. She didn't want to sleep alone so she kept with me for while. When I shined my light behind me I would track her through her distinct tracks in the sand.

Some months went by and then it was time for me to leave and I could not take her with me. I don't know if she would have coped with my wandering lifestyle, something I was not willing to give up. And I had been on the beach for half a year now with no electricity, phones, or any modern luxuries; the only luxury I had had was an old radio I had commandeered on which I listened to Shakira on Radio Malaysia.

Soon after I left I had a near death experience that kept me from returning to the beach for almost a year. The first chance I had I went back to find her. It was wrong of me to expect that she would wait for me. She had moved on, child and all. But she had not forgotten me, only distanced. I went back to work on the beach and continued exploring new lands, I moved on, again.

C'est la vie !!!

Saturday, August 12, 2006

why people go to work ?

well some people say its to get away from one's spouse. See when you live with some one that you see and breathe 24/7 you need to get away for a while to find your self from that resulting amalgam. all that may be true, but is that the only reason ???
I don't think so!! See the summer is so hot that I am sweating my pants wet and have to change several times a day. Ok I may be genetically screwed up that I sweat more than white people, I think its a brown people thing, but it could just be a thing about me. So here is why I go to work, even if I am underpaid - Work is first of all a distraction from a) spouse, and then from b)important stuff, and c) the ridiculous climate. since I do not have a spouse and have very little important stuff to do, the only reason I have to get a job is not for money, but for the air-conditioning.
Ok I'll spill the truth, I could turn up the air-conditioning and buy a few fans to circulate the air, but the electric bill will kill me and the air conditioning will burn out with continuous running. So I just sit at star bucks in my underwear with my laptop and get some thing done, I call it work.

Friday, August 11, 2006

cooking! I do cook, and it turns out good pretty often

Well it really does turn out pretty good very often, usually a little salt or ground black peppers solve the taste, and I have never fallen ill from eating my food, nor anyone else that I know off. So I just got back from a week of hanging from the skies. Was in New york and the suburbs of Philadelphia over the past two weeks. I even experienced the early morning symptoms of the foiled terrorist attacks at PHL. The last two weeks has seen me with a bruise on my arm (it still is there) a signature of what a city like New York will do to me and a huge dent in my wallet. So I got back yesterday morning and pretty much slept most of the day and also watched two movies before sleeping again. Today the agenda was pretty relaxed - cook the chicken in the freezer. OK! So after purchasing all the unavailable ingredients such as the frying pan among a few trivial others I got home and started preparing the marinade to cook the meat in over a low heat. This has been the most difficult cooking experience in my life, besides the times when I fought off giant robber crabs from my simmering stew on the islands, or the chickens that stole food from my plate. Thirty minutes on the onions in the pan were just browning but firm and there was no aroma permeating the room and into any of the fabrics. But I continued adding spices and stirring and readying the meat when it struck me that the pan's handle was pretty pretty hot and I was sweating (my courduroy pants stuck to my balls). The pan was set to a high temperature on the rear heating element but I was sweating, whaaat!! I just realized I had not burned myself, the front heating element was at the high heat setting and it was now 45 minutes since I began the cooking process. Well I got things right now and the meat I tell you tastes awesome. Did I mention I add different fruits to flavour my foods, adds character to my cuicine.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Che

There are few people more inspiring than such souls. And few they are because they are usually painted in the colours percieved by their opponents and less frequently perhaps by their proponents. Six years ago while on a beach emotionally and intellectually alone I had a book in hand that I got from my Father without stealing it from him. Its a very valuable book because it still has notes he made in it while he was in his youth. As I read that book I would close my eyes thinking of my dream, because at that stage the very first steps by me were being taken similar to the journey taken in the book. This was a whole four years before I heard of Che or before the movie 'Motorcycle Diaries' was released. The plan still holds, for the last two years I have been conspiring various ways to save a minimal cash base, the objective being to purchase my Bullet and to metaphorically conquer the subcontinent (I also have a secret desire to conquer the Latina land, but one at a time). I have done the islands enough that I still feel the pangs of separation. For a time this was a possible ideal and was going to be achieved, until of course responsibilities began to catch up with me. That hasn't thrown me off course though. But I think what may have really got me was that I wanted to share this experience with someone who was not just interested, but who believed in it and who I wanted to share it with. It is now two years since we have crossed any path physical or electronic or paper, and I dont know how to share the idea, because for some reason I am convinced that among the many people I have met over the years, she was one who was eager to learn and experience. I guess if she just told me she was not interested in this ideal I would move on.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Instant messaging

I love it, I'm thrilled ! I love it that Yahoo and MSN messengers can finally talk to each other. Sure Trillian and GAIM allow you to use all popular instant messengers from a single platform. But this is better you can now send a message from yahoo to msn or the other way around. With most of my friends on these two messengers I am complete. Why now I am never alone there is always some one to chat with. I can chat with myself, abuse myself and pretend I don't know who said that to me. Launch a tirade on myself and argue my way out of confrontation with myself. Best of all when I am bored I can talk to myself and not be called crazy anymore.

I love instant messaging.